Some of my classmates had mentioned personal meltdowns at the end of the first week. In fact this morning (after I wrote this, actually) one of my classmates admitted he’d had several, although I’m guessing they lacked the magnitude of mine. For me, it didn’t even take a week. After three days of classes, I was totally confused during the 4th, and sometimes 3rd hour of the day. It’s as if my brain was simply full – my teacher would ask me something I just learned (ostensibly), and I couldn’t remember what it was. I was near tears – twice. I’m smart. I know I’m smart. But I seem to be applying the same standards as I had as a teen, to a guy in his 60s. That’s doomed to fail.
There are a couple of approaches I can take:
- Reduce my hours per day or days/week
- Dumb down my lessons (few newer terms, more practice)
- Introduce “distractions” – areas of interest – travel, tourism, food, cooking that keep it interesting without overly sacrificing the learning experience
- Quit entirely (not an option)
Miracle?
I’d composed an email to the school Director (this may be a one-person shop with outsourced teachers, but in any case he’s the Jefe (boss)). I didn’t send it; I was having trouble owing up to my feelings (real or perceived) of failure, self-doubt. This morning, I decided to put my thoughts into visual form (“mind mapping”) mostly for my own clarity. Shortly before the beginning of breakfast I found the wherewithal to find him and ask to talk. He came up to the room, and I choked out what I’d been feeling and showed him the map. Perhaps not “the smartest thing I’ve ever done” but it was a pretty clever idea. Armed with a snapshot of the mind map, he met with the two teachers. Then in practically an instant (ok it was like a half hour) everything changed.
I had steeled myself into standing up to my perceived oppressors (exaggeration for effect…) – my evil teachers who forced me to take on “more than I could chew”. Instead, I worked out a new approach with the morning instructor, then again in the afternoon. Instead of finishing downtrodden, I was energized and excited for the next class. By coincidence(?) the afternoon Instructor came to the place I was having lunch, so we could actually chill (and eat) without actually being “on the clock” not that punctuality is particularly revered in Mexico.
So, everything’s changed. The class has gone from intriguing (beforehand) to soul-crushing, to being fascinating with unlimited upside. In less than a day. I’m impressed. Tomorrow in the morning, Teacher #1 and I will visit a local market and talk about local foods and ordering. In the afternoon I’ve completed my homework for Teacher #2, which is my recipe (in Spanish) for chicken saltimbocca. We talked about cooking methods along with some grammer – she’ll correct that and we’ll talk more about food.